These words ring painfully true after just hosting Josiah's fourth birthday party. I was so excited....table prepared.....friends invited.....games planned.....favors packaged.....and a little boy who for days couldn't hold in his excitement.
The friends arrive. The playing and fun begin. Candy cars assembled...mystery box explored....the awaited party has begun. And the whining begins. He doesn't want to play. He doesn't want to participate. He doesn't want to share. All he wants is CHOCOLATE CAKE and PRESENTS!! I hear these words muttered repeatedly as he stamps his feet and scowls. Doesn't he know the lengths I have gone to make this day special? Frustration and questioning rise up within me. Often they seem my closest companions.
The party ends and we survive the rest of the big birthday events. Later, it hits me. I, too, want the chocolate cake and presents. I don't want to eat peanut butter and jelly first. I want the best, I want what is mine. And so goes this dance I play with Him. Longing and searching for God's best and yet running when He wants to give it to me. He responds with gentleness. A reminder that I am foolish and need to be trained in the best way for me to go. He wants me to have all the cakes and presents, yet it is best for me to long and search for them along the way.
I will never be able to MAKE my children choose what is right. I will never be able to make Josiah act in ways that make me look good. He is his own....created, intricately by our Maker. Known and loved perfectly by the Heavenly One. The only One who can bestow what is best and what is timely. Pointing Josiah to his Father is where I come in. A gentle touch, a kind word, a story read about a great Rescuer. I point and lead, but only God will change the selfishness inside.
As the day closes and I tuck in my four year old little boy, I pray that we will both taste and see the goodness and gentleness of God. That our search for His best will uncover the deep character of our great God. Thank You, Father, that Your mercies are new every morning. Give me grace to extent to those I love. Amen